Welcome Back! We are in Dallas, where we found Kelly Clarkson, the first Idol winner.

DAY ONE

...and  a girl goes into labor while waiting to audition...wow.

Jessica Brown, 24, a stay at home mom...and former Meth addict. I thought we did background checks and these guys weren't allowed. Anyway she is singing "I'll Stand By You" by The Pretenders. She sings it very well. Simon thinks she made it interesting and Randy thinks it was a bit pitchy, but its a yes. (1-0)

Next up is a park attendant named Paul Stafford. This guy seems slightly off and is singing Elliot Yamin's "I'll Wait For You" and completely butchers it. Randy non-chalantly makes fun of him. Paula thinks it was a "joyful" audition. Simon is actually shocked that he believes he can sing. He's a nice guy but not right for the competition. So it's a no accross the board. (1-1)

commercial break, enjoy the ads!

Alright, we're back. Up next is Beth Maddocks singing Kelly Clarkson's "Beautiful Disaster." Her voice COULD be good if she trained, but she's is pitchy and all over the place. Simon makes fun of her and call the audition a "disaster." So, no. (1-2)

Esteban Deanda is 20 and can't sing, all we hear is "oh, yeah, yeah, ye-ye-yeah." Simon says it was atrocious. (1-3)

Victoria Metz, 23, big girl with no make-up and ratty hair singing Kelly Clarkson's "Since You Been Gone." Randy Laughs. Yeah, no. (1-4)

Drucilla Wideman, 16, don't know what she's singing but it's horrendous. Simon, "It's a no." She leaves crying. (1-5)

And a girl that looks like Carrie Underwood, Alaina Whitacher, 16, is gonna sing Faith Hill's "Stronger." Wow, her voice is as pretty as she is. Simon thinks it was a good audition but she is not as good as she thinks she is. (whatever) Yes all around (2-5)

back to a break and we see a gay couple and a retard who wont shut up when told.

We're back with an autition in progress. We apparently have a brother and sister. Gregory & Mia Tobias, 18 & 16. They look like a couple of hippy and sound like dying birds. They are singing something from an Opera but it was not recognisable. And no response. (2-6)

I was wrong, it wasn't a gay couple, it was a father and son. But the son has never kissed a girl, and he and his father share a necklace, k. His name is Bruce Dickson (hehe) and he is singing "Ain't No Sunshine" and doesn't do bad but it's not his thing. The judges agree, and give advice (kiss some girls.) (2-7)

Pia "Zpia" Easley, 24, is a black chick with an almost shaved head, but has a blonde mohawk. Looks cool, though and she is a back up singer. Singing "Got To Use My Imagination" by Gladys Knight. Voice is not that bad, but I don't think she get through, well, maybe. Simon likes her, Paula likes her and Randy agrees. She's off to Hollywood. (3-7)

back to commercial.

Next is Brandon Green, and he has a collection of his fingernail clippings, of course, he brought some for good luck. (What the hell?) He doesn't want to be like Britney Spears or Paris Hilton, okay? "Rich Girl" by Hall & Oats is his choice. Pretty good. Simon thinks he's forgettable, Paula likes him and Randy likes his voice. Yes. (4-7)

Kayla Hatfield is 24 and lives on a farm, has 8 horses and 2 children. When she was 18 she got in a car wreck and her face got messed up and lost ision is one eye. She is very excited to be here, and extremely nervous. Singing "Take A Piece Of My Heart" by Janice Joplin. She is all over the place, key-wise, and song wise. Simon, however, says yes, and Paula says no. Up to Randy....Yes! WOW, that's a shock. She got through mainly because they thought she was fun, but anyway. (5-7)

..........................ads....................

Back with Erick Mauldin, who is 21, and and as big as a hot air ballon. Sounds like Mike Tyson singing on helium. Don't know what he's singing. Simon says he sounds like he's 7. (5-8)

Charles Markham, 21, is trying to sing "I Turn To You" by Christina Aguilera. Are you kidding me?!?! Guys can't do girl songs, period. Simon thinks it was atrocious. duh. (5-9)

Tristian Clements, 18, he looks like the lead "singer" of Plain White T's. That's not a compliment, by the way. And what did I just say about girl songs? Aretha Franklin's "Think," good choice, stupid. Simon, "Creepy." (5-10)

And the last audition of Day One is, wow, Katie Malloy, 18, can do vocal impressions. She sings Britney Spears' "From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart." Yeah, I'd say it sounds like her. But for the audition, she chooses Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats." But Simon stops her because it sounds like another impression. And she sings "Unchained Melody." by the Righteous Brothers/LeeAnn Rimes. This, I think is the best I've actually heard it. And it doesn't sound like either artist. Beautiful. Randy likes it, Paula does too, and Simon says she's the best so far this year. (6-10)

and there were 12 total that made it.

I will add Day Two to this post either later today, I apologize.