First off, I apologize for the lack of blogging lately...especially with American Idol. I had every intention of blogging the entire season this year, but unfortunately I wasn't able to keep up pace with the shows. (I have been watching most of them off the DVR!) And I have to admit, during the auditions, I was really not in the mood to take the time to write anything..cuz, honestly, it was the worst audition segment ever! I had no clue who most of the top 24 were when they were selected, cuz up until Hollywood, most of what we got were plugs and dumb asses who just wanted to get on tv. Good for them, they will forever be remembered as retards! But the rest of the season... has been one of the better ones I've seen, so now I'm kicking myself...there's been some definite blogworthy stuff this year!

Anyway, after watching the dramactic and slightly schocking ending to Michael Johns' run, and seeing Carly get the boot last night (I actually got to watch it on schedule this week!)  I felt it necessary to post something.  I am just in utter shock that this whole Sanjaya thing is happening here again. We are keeping the rejects on the show just cuz they're cute! Seriously, how much more boring does Jason Castro, who I don't think has actually completed a sentence on camera since the beginning of the show, have to be? Don't get me wrong, I think he has a decent voice, and was pretty impressed at a few performances, but he does the same thing every week! Come on, people! And Brooke's secon-...sorry...second restart should have definitely been her ticket out. She's not that great! And has anyone noticed that she always seems to be judgemental of the judges. I think she comes across as a closet B****, sorry. She's not the sweet girl she tries to portray. NO WAY. These two performances were the worst, by far, of the entire season. They both should have been the bottom two, and Brooke should have left. 

Michael Johns and Carly Smithson, these two should have been on at least a little longer. But, then again, it is American Idol, not America's Got Talent, right? I guess there are a lot of stars out there that are worse than these guys. BUT.........if the season would have gone my way....

Asia'h would have been in the top 12, and so would have Danny Noriega. Amanda Overmyer would have been out week one instead of Amy Davis (though she was off pitch most of the song) Jason Castro would have been off when Danny was....that takes care of 24-13

Top 12 would have gone like this:

Brooke White

Kristy Lee Cook

David Hernandez

Danny Noriega

Chikezie

Ramiele Maluby

Michael Johns

David Archuleta

Carly Smithson

Syesha Mercado

Asia'h Epperson

David Cook (winner)

And that's it.... but since that's not how it's going...thry this for the top 5...

out in this order: Jason Castro -> Brooke White -> Syesha Mercado -> David Archuleta -> David Cook.

Are you freakin' kidding me????? Seriously, do we really have to find something wrong with this girl? She's a perfect little angel, and everytime I turn around there's some stupid tabloid story floating around!

Miley in lesbian photos. Miley has a body double. Miley doesn't wear her seatbelt. OH.....My.....GOD!

The photos. A teenage sleepover. I have a 9 year old girl, she had a sleepover, they get goofy. Girls hug, sit close, lean on each other, give each other kisses. So STOP!

The body double...it's a Disney stage show, Disney is "magic". Come on, people! To get a seamless performance, for a few seconds, she has someone replace her on stage so she can come out as her other persona. Otherwise, choose who you want to see...Hanna or Miley.

Lack of seatbelt in the movie. Wow. Somebody really has it hard up for Miley Cyrus if this is now a controversy., and I'm gonna assume that it wasn't a kid who noticed this "problem." A kid would have been watching the movie and enjoying it, not nit-picking to make sure all is proper! Guess what, I don't always wear a seatbelt, but I make my kids. Why? Because I'm the parent. But, I guess your kids don't listen to you, they do what Miley does. Only what Miley does. Billy Ray and Miley come from the south/country, this is probably common. I remember when I was a kid, I didn't wear a seatbelt all the time. In fact, I remember when it was okay to ride in the bed of a pick-up truck. SO WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Theere's something wrong in society when we HAVE TO find something wrong with our celebraties. Leave her alone and just be happy that your kids actually have a good role model to look up to. (YOU make YOUR kid wear his/her seatbelt.)

I want to apologize to any readers... i have not been blogging lately, I am currently busy working on my album, along with a few others.

Plus I have been watching American Idol this season, and it's more of a circus than last year, and I really feel it's not worth blogging, at least the auditions. I will try to get back when the actual competition begins. At least that might be worth it.

Welcome Back! We are in Dallas, where we found Kelly Clarkson, the first Idol winner.

DAY ONE

...and  a girl goes into labor while waiting to audition...wow.

Jessica Brown, 24, a stay at home mom...and former Meth addict. I thought we did background checks and these guys weren't allowed. Anyway she is singing "I'll Stand By You" by The Pretenders. She sings it very well. Simon thinks she made it interesting and Randy thinks it was a bit pitchy, but its a yes. (1-0)

Next up is a park attendant named Paul Stafford. This guy seems slightly off and is singing Elliot Yamin's "I'll Wait For You" and completely butchers it. Randy non-chalantly makes fun of him. Paula thinks it was a "joyful" audition. Simon is actually shocked that he believes he can sing. He's a nice guy but not right for the competition. So it's a no accross the board. (1-1)

commercial break, enjoy the ads!

Alright, we're back. Up next is Beth Maddocks singing Kelly Clarkson's "Beautiful Disaster." Her voice COULD be good if she trained, but she's is pitchy and all over the place. Simon makes fun of her and call the audition a "disaster." So, no. (1-2)

Esteban Deanda is 20 and can't sing, all we hear is "oh, yeah, yeah, ye-ye-yeah." Simon says it was atrocious. (1-3)

Victoria Metz, 23, big girl with no make-up and ratty hair singing Kelly Clarkson's "Since You Been Gone." Randy Laughs. Yeah, no. (1-4)

Drucilla Wideman, 16, don't know what she's singing but it's horrendous. Simon, "It's a no." She leaves crying. (1-5)

And a girl that looks like Carrie Underwood, Alaina Whitacher, 16, is gonna sing Faith Hill's "Stronger." Wow, her voice is as pretty as she is. Simon thinks it was a good audition but she is not as good as she thinks she is. (whatever) Yes all around (2-5)

back to a break and we see a gay couple and a retard who wont shut up when told.

We're back with an autition in progress. We apparently have a brother and sister. Gregory & Mia Tobias, 18 & 16. They look like a couple of hippy and sound like dying birds. They are singing something from an Opera but it was not recognisable. And no response. (2-6)

I was wrong, it wasn't a gay couple, it was a father and son. But the son has never kissed a girl, and he and his father share a necklace, k. His name is Bruce Dickson (hehe) and he is singing "Ain't No Sunshine" and doesn't do bad but it's not his thing. The judges agree, and give advice (kiss some girls.) (2-7)

Pia "Zpia" Easley, 24, is a black chick with an almost shaved head, but has a blonde mohawk. Looks cool, though and she is a back up singer. Singing "Got To Use My Imagination" by Gladys Knight. Voice is not that bad, but I don't think she get through, well, maybe. Simon likes her, Paula likes her and Randy agrees. She's off to Hollywood. (3-7)

back to commercial.

Next is Brandon Green, and he has a collection of his fingernail clippings, of course, he brought some for good luck. (What the hell?) He doesn't want to be like Britney Spears or Paris Hilton, okay? "Rich Girl" by Hall & Oats is his choice. Pretty good. Simon thinks he's forgettable, Paula likes him and Randy likes his voice. Yes. (4-7)

Kayla Hatfield is 24 and lives on a farm, has 8 horses and 2 children. When she was 18 she got in a car wreck and her face got messed up and lost ision is one eye. She is very excited to be here, and extremely nervous. Singing "Take A Piece Of My Heart" by Janice Joplin. She is all over the place, key-wise, and song wise. Simon, however, says yes, and Paula says no. Up to Randy....Yes! WOW, that's a shock. She got through mainly because they thought she was fun, but anyway. (5-7)

..........................ads....................

Back with Erick Mauldin, who is 21, and and as big as a hot air ballon. Sounds like Mike Tyson singing on helium. Don't know what he's singing. Simon says he sounds like he's 7. (5-8)

Charles Markham, 21, is trying to sing "I Turn To You" by Christina Aguilera. Are you kidding me?!?! Guys can't do girl songs, period. Simon thinks it was atrocious. duh. (5-9)

Tristian Clements, 18, he looks like the lead "singer" of Plain White T's. That's not a compliment, by the way. And what did I just say about girl songs? Aretha Franklin's "Think," good choice, stupid. Simon, "Creepy." (5-10)

And the last audition of Day One is, wow, Katie Malloy, 18, can do vocal impressions. She sings Britney Spears' "From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart." Yeah, I'd say it sounds like her. But for the audition, she chooses Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats." But Simon stops her because it sounds like another impression. And she sings "Unchained Melody." by the Righteous Brothers/LeeAnn Rimes. This, I think is the best I've actually heard it. And it doesn't sound like either artist. Beautiful. Randy likes it, Paula does too, and Simon says she's the best so far this year. (6-10)

and there were 12 total that made it.

I will add Day Two to this post either later today, I apologize.

Hey, everybody, welcome back to American Idol!

Last night was the first night of the season and we're in Philly, PA. This is apparently the biggest audition turn-out ever in the history of American Idol. And speeking of history, we get a brief review of Philadelphia's. (Careful, there might be an exam at the end!) Paula shows up and gets lots of hugs, Simon strolls in in his plain white T, and Randy is sporting Elvis sideburns this year, goodie.

DAY ONE

First up this year is Joey Catalano, and you'd think you were watching "The Biggest Loser" with his story of losing 204lbs, but you're not, its American Idol. Anyway, though he lost over 200lbs, he is still the same person inside, nice to know, can we sing now? (really, I am impressed by that) So, Joey chose to sing "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5, and I was suprised! It was very good...for Hollywood, don't know about the actual competition, but good. Simon thinks he has a great voice, but was nervous about him, Randy thinks he can really blow and Paula says yes. Off to Hollywood for Joey, and after a loser montage, to commercials for us. (2 hours long....so many advertisers, so little Idol.)

We're back and now we have Alaa Youakeem, or Yuka for short. He's from Egypt and has been in America for 3 years. He loves American Music, especially the Bee Gee's. He loves American Girls and apparently they love him too. They supposedly call him "Sexy Face." (Sure, I believe that.) He also is saving himself for the right girl, whom he can love from her "hair to her nipple."  Hmmm....moving on. In the room, we have about 2 minutes worth of the judges pronouncing his name wrong. Oh, and he also likes Paula, the way she sings and dances. (This isn't his ad in the personals, really.) Since he likes the Bee Gee's so much, he sings "How Deep Is Your Love." And....shut up. Paula thinks it's great that he was able to "phonetically learn our songs" (Yes, she really said that) loves his effort and she appreciates him. Rand says singing is not his thing and Simon just says "nice to meet you." Going Home....tally so far Hollywood: 1, Da Bus: 1.

Our "third" contender is Melanie Nyema, and she's a back up singer! Actually was Taylor Hick's back up singer. She sings Natasha Bedingfield's "Unwritten" and belts it out for the whole world to hear, and stops in the middle of a line. I think it was good, but overdone. Paula liked it, Simon was neither here nor there (no) and Randy says yes. Hollywood. (2-1)

Next up is James Lewis, we were prepped for this guy before the break to be "possibly the worst audition ever." He's 22, and a tour guide here in Philly. He says that he's unique and new, his specialty...anything that is low. He sings "Go Down Moses." Oh, please, let my eardrums go!! What the hell is this??? Somebody told this guy he could sing? probably not, just another plug to keep ratings up. The whole time he sings, Paula and Randy are laughing hyterically. He finishes and paula apologizes for them laughing. He thinks he can try a different song, so he starts singing again! It's a no, and they show him outside, and he thinks it was because he chose Old Christian music. Nest year he'll come back and sing something more modern. Good luck with that. Da Bus!! (2-2)

Next, a couple quickies. Nick Stano, 22, with "Unchained Melodies" followed by Sibyll White, 16, singing something I don't know, and then Zhengzhong Yu, 20, what??? Anyway, Squeally, Screechy, and zzzzz... (2-5)

A couple more quickies, good ones this time. Junot Jones with Elton John's "That's Why They Call It The Blues." follwed by Jose Candelera with something in spanish, and Johnathon Baines, again, don't know the song. But all three are going to Hollywood. (5-5, see the pattern?)

And here's our girl from a teaser earlier. Temptress Brown. Who in their right mind would name their child Temptress?? Come on, I've heard Tempest before (Vanessa from the Cosby Show) but Temptress? Anyway, she's 16 and a Middle Linebacker on the football team at school. And I bet the only thing she's "tempting" is the other team to run away! She's here partly for herself, and partly for her mom. You see, her mom is "very ill." They cut to her mother in a wheelchair with O2 strapped to her nose. But here's the thing...her mom's not ill, she's is grossly obese! She is literally hanging over the sides of the wheelchair! And I'm not saying this to make fun of her, but let's call it what it is. Temptress decides to sing "Not Going Nowhere" by Jennifer Hudson. What did I say about this people, don't sing any songs by former Idol stars! Ouch, this hurts, she is extremely screechy. Simon calls her a sweethart, but not a great singer. She sticks out her bottom lip and the tears start streaming down her face. We really do feel bad for her, she was genuinely here thinking she would make it through. Randy and Paula get up and hug her and all three of the judges walk her out into the hall. Her whole family is there and applaude her effort. Her dad(?) hugs her and looks at Simon and says, "You weren't mean to her, were you?"  Actually, no, Simon wasn't mean, this time. (5-6)

Mark Hayes, 18, has a very unique talent of making cricket sounds, he likes to use this when he's at a comedy club and no one is laughing. You heckler you! He chooses to sing (and butcher) Bing Crosby's "White Christmas." And all is quiet when he is done....hmmm...do I hear cricket sounds? Of course, you think Idol would have let go? (5-7)

"Udi" or Ugeet Sampat, a 22 year old Auto Finace Manager who thinks he can dance like MC Hammer, nope. When asked who he thinks he sounds like, "Barry Manilow & Frank Sinatra." And he's gonna sing "My Way." He horribly murders this song, he's flat and monotone. Thank you, Simon for stopping him! Simon tells him he's nuts! Ha, Ha! then Udi asks for an explination. Simon elaborates for him, "it was one note, tuneless, and disturbing." buh-bye. (5-8)

....and an "I Love Rock N Roll" motage of losers....

Here's  our angy beaver of the night, Alexis Cowen. We've seen clip after clip of this chick the whole show so far, ripping Simon up. She's 23 and looks like the 80's Madonna, if she got beat in the face a few times. She's studing to be a vet, and as well as being a singer, she's an artist. She's been compared to Janice Joplin, Grey Slick, and Pat Benatar. She's singing Grey Slick's version of "Somebody To Love." And.....she's actually not bad! Not great, but not bad. Simon says he sees her playing in a cover band, but is not mean to her at all, says something about her voice sounding possessed, but it was a "good" type of comment. Randy thinks she'd do well in a 60-70's cover band, but it's a no. She was excited to hear their comments, and was nice when she was leaving the room. BUT, outside the doors, she actually becomes possessed. Calls Simon a "bad word." literally, she said "Simon's a bad word." Back inside the room, Simon asks someone of stage who played the Gree Goblin is the first Spiderman movie. There's our Simon. (it was William Defoe, by the way. 5-9)

And we have another few minutes of watching the same clips of Alexis we've seen spread out throughout the show. SHUT UP!

More winners...and losers.

Last audition for day one is Angela Martin. She's 26, and got pregnant her senior year in high school. She's not here for fame, she's here to hopefully win the competition and take care of her daughter who has Rhet's Syndrome, it's like Ceribal Palsy. She is currently in a band in Chicago. She sings "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" by Stevie Wonder. (This Was Sanjaya's Auditon song, by the way, in case you forgot about him) She does it very well, and with her own style.Simon says she sounded old-fashioned, and has picked up bad habits from being in a "wedding band," but has a good voice. Hollywood. (6-9)

DAY TWO

Did you know that everbody in Philly loves you? Well they do.

And we see a skinny little redhead in a red dress dancing around in the waiting room. Aliese Wichikowski, her inspirations are Eva Cassidy, Lauren Hill and Alicia Keys. She sings Feeling Good and screams it. I swear, if I go deaf by the end of the show.... Simon says it was identical to a nightmare he had before the season started. No. (6-10)

Teressa Anello, 22, what?!?! Bye. (6-11)

Brandy Park, 22, Heart's "How Do I Get You Alone." Simon sums it up...."You Woundn't (6-12)

Here is our yearly old guy, Milo Turch. A 39 year old, failling singer/songwriter, who looks like a balding elf, has a message to bring to the world. (his songs need to be played on the radio!) He is dedicating this song to Simon. "No Sex Allowed" by...Milo Turch. Yeah, like anyone wants to hear that on the radio. Simon says it was creepy, and Milo wants to sing another song. Simon doesn't want to hear another one of his perverted songs. Poor Milo gets offended, "it wasn't perverted. it's the opposite." Whatever. (6-13)

All the way from Oregon comes Kristie Lee Cook. A 23 year old cutie who lives in a log cabin and raises horses. She actually sold her prize barrell horse to get here.  Oh, and she can kick your butt. She is a Kickboxer and trains for cage fighting. Simon has fun with this, of course, and asks about bikinis, mud, jello, etc. (no, none of that is involved) She sings "Amazing Grace," and oh my god is it beautiful. I say end the contest now! She wins. (7-13)

Ben Harr, this shows wierdo, comes in wearing a cloak and we cut to Simon rolling his eyes. Why the cloak, you ask? He wants his costume to be a surprise of course. He's wearing Princess Leah's slave bikini.  and every roll is hanging out. To top it off, he has more chest hair then my dog! Simon doesn't want to hear anything, and Paula is to distracted by his hairy chest to focus. What's he do next? He asks if he waxes it, can he come back. (of course he can. Bet Idol even paid for it.) Next.

Pedro Rivera is 19 and mumbling (7-14)

Shekninah Bathyehudah (what?) 29. Shes got a big hat and a feather boa singing "America the Beautiful" Though her voice is not. (7-15)

And more angry losers! yea!

Paul Marturano wrote a "love song" for Paula. WOW, creepy stalker guy. It's funny, but then he actually gets creepy. And he gets escorted out by security (big surprise there) (7-16)

Next up is Beth Stalker.(haha, stalker.) She's 28, and by day she's a mild-mannered stay at home mom, but at night she turns into a nightclub singer. She had an album when she was 4! She sings "Bewitched, Bothered, & Bewildered." It has a nice old flavor to it, and she has good stage presence, but Simon says she wouldn't stand out, so no. But Randy and Paula say yes and she's going to Hollywood. (8-16)

Ben is getting waxed on camera! Remember the scene from 40-year-old Virgin? I wonder since he is on American Idol he screams out "OOOWWW!! STEVE CARREL!!!" I know, sorry. And he's back with the judges. Has no hair on his chest. He wants to sing "Don't Cha" by the Pussycat Dolls. Why do these people want to waste our time with this crap..oh,yeah, sorry, ratings. As soon as he starts singing and dancing he gets stopped by the judges. Thank you and bye! Simon asks why "that fat lump" wants to be on TV anyway. (8-17)

Chris Watson wants to be a legend. He's 20, and working on his Associates Degree in something. He sings Uncle Kracker's "Follow Me" and sings it way better tha Kracker could ever hope to. Simon thinks it was good, and he looks like a star, Randy thinks he has a different sounding voice, and Paula is drooling. (9-17)

More Losers and they give us the reasons why in pouty voices. So sad.

We already had a guy dressed as Leah, now we have a girl who thinks herself to be leah. Well, not really. Though she is a diehard Star Wars fan, and has the Leah buns (her hair, guys) and a Star Wars Logo on her belt. Kristina Telassano, 24, doesn't consider herself sexy, and neither do I. But believes herself to be a good singer. Ryan can't help but make a "Force" joke. She sings Roger Daltry's version of "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me." It actually starts out ok, but gets sloppy in the middle. I bet if she took a few years of vocal training, she'd be okay. Randy says it was a strange audition. And after she leaves Simon says "Give my love to the Wookie." Ouch. She cries, calls herself a dork and all Idol wants is pretty girls and perfect voices. Gee, I wonder why? "Idol" ? (9-18)

Last up is Brooke White, 24, grew up in Arizona, living in California. She's a nanny for a set of 1 yr old twins and thinks that the experience is wonderful. They show her with the twins. Awww... She has never seen an R rated movie, doesn't drink or smoke, and neither does her husband. Simon jokes about husband staying up late, she doesn't get it. She sings "Like A Star" and she has a really pretty voice. It's soft and sweet, and she seems to be into the song. Randy likes her, she's "pure." Simon thinks she's sincere, has a nice voice, and wants to bring her over to the darkside. As if we didn't have enough Star Wars references in this show already. Anyway she made it, and we hear for the first time this season, "OTHER DOOR!" She Does a victory dance.(and that puts my tally of actually shown auditions at 10 yes and 18 no.) Hmmmm.....

But 29 actually got through and Princess is still crying about being a dork and only the best looking, prettiest get in. Whatever.

Tomorrow...Dallas! Home of Kelly Clarkson, Paula dances with a "pimp."

See ya!